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Understanding the ‘Model of the World’ — Beliefs and Key Decisions

Understanding the ‘Model of the World’ — Beliefs and Key Decisions Facebook Instagram Linkedin  Inspired by Strategic Family Therapy by Cloe Madanes Every individual navigates life through a unique lens—what in NLP we call the “Model of the World.” This internal framework determines how we perceive, interpret, and respond to the world around us. It’s shaped by personal experiences, cultural conditioning, relationships, and unconscious decisions made early in life. Cloe Madanes, a leading figure in the field of Strategic Family Therapy, outlines six fundamental components that shape this model. In this first part of our blog series, we’ll explore two of the most impactful: Core Beliefs Key Life Decisions 1. Core Beliefs: The Invisible Architects of Reality We all hold beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. What’s important to recognize is that these beliefs are often adopted unconsciously—passed down by parents, shaped by teachers, and influenced by media and culture. Some beliefs support our growth. Others limit us profoundly. These limiting beliefs are often rooted in early experiences and reinforced over time. Without awareness, they silently dictate our decisions, relationships, and emotional well-being. One of the most effective ways to uncover someone’s belief system is through powerful questioning. A simple, yet revealing question is: “What is life, according to you?” If someone believes that life is a race, they will likely strive endlessly to stay ahead—seeking validation through grades, income, or achievements, often at the cost of presence and peace. Their fear of “losing” will drive much of their behavior, often unconsciously. Reflection Exercise: Pause and ask yourself: “Life is __________.” Write down your answer. This single metaphor can unlock significant insights into how you operate in the world. As NLP practitioners and coaches, we often say: “Change your story, change your life.” But equally powerful is this reframe: “Change your metaphor, and you change your model of the world.” Whether you see life as a battle, a dance, a gift, or a test—each metaphor shapes how you experience your reality. 2. Key Decisions: The Subconscious Choices that Shape Our Lives The second major component of our world model is the key decisions we made—often as children—about ourselves, others, and life itself. These decisions are usually created in response to emotional events and can remain embedded for decades, long after their usefulness has expired. Cloe Madanes offers a poignant example: “A man might decide as a boy that ‘boys don’t cry.’ In blocking his tears, he also blocks his vulnerability and sensitivity. Later, when it’s time to connect emotionally with his wife or children, he may find himself unable to do so.” What once served as a survival mechanism becomes an obstacle to growth and intimacy. These early decisions shape our self-image, emotional expression, relationships, and career paths—often unconsciously. Reflection Prompt: What is a decision you made about yourself or life as a child that still influences you today? Does that decision still serve you? Or is it time to let it go? Using tools like Time Line Therapy®, NLP practitioners can help clients uncover and reframe these outdated decisions, releasing their emotional grip and empowering new possibilities. Moving Forward These two components—beliefs and early decisions—are foundational to understanding how we function. By becoming aware of them, we gain the power to reshape our inner world, and consequently, our outer reality. Questions for Your Journey: What is life according to you? What key decision did you make early in life that might be holding you back today?

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Pressure Isn’t Supposed to Break Us—It’s Designed to Make Us

Internal Pressure: Awareness, Reflection, and Personal Mastery Facebook Instagram Linkedin My mentor, Arslan Larik, recently gave me a thought-provoking topic to write about: “Pressure isn’t supposed to break us, it’s designed to make us.” As I reflected on this statement, it took me on a journey through my past—a time when I feared challenges, targets, and deadlines. I used to see pressure as a burden, something to avoid. But today, those very pressures have become the fuel that drives me forward, pushing me to reach for more, strive harder, and grow continuously. Pressure is often misunderstood as a purely negative force. Of course, when unregulated, it can cause stress and emotional strain. However, when we reframe it, pressure becomes a catalyst for growth. Each challenge is an invitation to reflect, recalibrate, and rise. Here are three questions that often surface when we’re under pressure: Do we dare to engage in the face of pressure? Do we have the courage and faith to give it our all? Do we have what it takes to step up in both work and life? My answer to all three is a resounding yes. Each one of us has within us the courage, potential, and resources—both internal and external—to meet the demands that pressure brings. The primary limitation we face is not a lack of capability but a deep-rooted attachment to our comfort zones. We’ve all heard these thoughts: “Let it be; things are fine the way they are. Why put in extra effort?” “What’s the point of working so hard?” “I’ll definitely start tomorrow… just one more day to rest.” But that “tomorrow” often turns into years. This mindset is what keeps so many people stuck. They never truly challenge themselves. They stay safe, predictable, and stagnant. Years pass, and not much changes. Their conversations, attitudes, and habits remain the same, a clear sign of someone living at effect rather than at cause. The truth is, growth doesn’t happen in the comfort zone. It happens in discomfort, in uncertainty, and, yes, under pressure. If we reframe our thinking and begin to see pressure not as a problem, but as a privilege, everything changes. Pressure is what sharpens our focus, strengthens our resolve, and reveals our true potential. It isn’t the enemy; it’s the training ground for excellence. To close, let me leave you with a core belief that has shaped my life: Just like “necessity is the mother of invention,” I believe that “pressure is the mother of all great performances.” Step out of the comfort zone. Push your limits. Trust yourself. Face the pressure head-on. Because the pressure you’re feeling? It’s not there to break you. It’s there to build you.

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Internal Pressure: Awareness, Reflection, and Personal Mastery

Internal Pressure: Awareness, Reflection, and Personal Mastery Facebook Instagram Linkedin Pressure is not something that simply comes from the outside—it originates from within. And because it emerges internally, it must be understood, managed, and mastered from within as well. Often, when we feel overwhelmed, there is something deeper beneath the surface: unspoken thoughts, unprocessed emotions, or unresolved experiences. These internal dynamics tend to echo through our external challenges, especially in the context of deadlines, decision-making, or personal growth. You may resonate with this perspective—or you may not. Either way, it is worth taking a moment for reflection. Everything Starts From Within Before any external action is taken, there is an internal decision. It is within the mind that ideas take root and choices are made. And with those choices come emotions—uncertainty, fear, excitement, resistance, or even doubt. In the early stages of any new endeavor, such emotional responses are natural. They are part of the learning curve and personal expansion. However, when such inner resistance arises mid-way through a process or project, it can become a significant obstacle. This is often a signal that something deeper requires our attention. The Need for Self-Awareness The core solution is awareness. We must cultivate presence at every stage—questioning our intentions, reviewing our actions, and clarifying what truly matters. Ask yourself: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? What no longer serves me? What internal dialogue is influencing my decisions? Among all the reflective questions we can ask, there is one that carries profound insight: “What is stopping me from moving forward?” The ability to identify the root of our resistance is a powerful step. Once acknowledged, it can become the beginning of breakthrough. Self-awareness, when engaged constructively, becomes a gateway to growth. Building Inner Clarity and Resilience Here are four key elements that support internal mastery and self-alignment: Clarify Your ‘Why’Understanding your deeper motivation allows you to move from confusion to clarity. Purpose brings focus and direction. State ManagementYour emotional and physiological state determines how you respond to challenges. Developing the ability to shift your state—through mindfulness, NLP techniques, or positive routines—can transform the way you experience pressure. Self-Acknowledgement and SignificanceGive yourself credit for your efforts. Recognizing your value and progress reinforces inner confidence and builds emotional resilience. Personal ExcellenceExcellence is not perfection. It is the consistent commitment to becoming better than you were yesterday. It involves refining your mindset, behavior, and decisions through conscious practice. In Conclusion Growth begins with reflection. When pressure rises or decisions become difficult, it is often an invitation to look within. The more intentional we are in understanding our inner world, the more empowered we become to navigate the external one. Take the time to reflect. The answers you seek are already within you—waiting to be acknowledged.

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