“Everything that happens to you has a reason—but there’s a way of thinking about this that empowers you in life.”

As students of mind sciences and behavioral psychology, many of us are already familiar with the concept of attributing meaning to our experiences. But have we truly explored why we so often insist that “everything happens for a reason”?

At the core of human cognition lies our unique ability to assign meaning to events. This meaning becomes our perception—our lens through which we view and interpret life. And this lens, whether consciously shaped or unconsciously inherited, can either empower or disempower us.

So here’s a vital question to reflect on:
Can perception be positive or negative?
Absolutely. Since perception is not fact, but interpretation, it is deeply subjective. The intention, therefore, is not to seek an absolute truth in events, but to examine whether our perspective serves us. Does it empower us or hold us back?

An empowering perception fosters growth, resilience, and clarity. A disempowering perception often leads to helplessness, self-doubt, and limitation. This is the essence of how our thoughts shape our life trajectory.
Empowering thoughts → Empowering life
Disempowering thoughts → Disempowering life

It’s crucial to clarify that the phrase “everything happens for a reason” does not suggest we must celebrate pain or loss. If someone passes away, we are not expected to feel joy—but we are encouraged to engage in conscious reflection. It is about questioning the self, creating self-awareness, managing our pain, and finding the inner strength to rise above adversity.

Author Paul Auster beautifully captures this duality:

“The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own existence. In some ways, we are; in some ways, we’re not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence.”

So how do we regain control amidst unpredictability?
By choosing how we respond. By choosing our lens.
Believing in purpose, and seeking meaning, doesn’t eliminate pain—it gives us direction. It anchors us in proactivity, focus, and purpose, rather than leaving us trapped in blame or excuses.

As coaches and change-makers, our role is to continually develop this skill—seeing events through varied, flexible lenses—and helping our clients do the same during powerful coaching conversations.

Let’s continue to evolve in the way we perceive, assign meaning, and respond—so we lead not just informed lives, but empowered ones.